No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
