she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
