I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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