the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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