the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
