Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
