Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
