Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
