What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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