you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
