Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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