On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
