Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
