Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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