he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
