You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
