So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
