gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
