I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
