is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize