So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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