I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize