You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
