Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
