the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
