this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
