I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish I only lived at night.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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