Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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