I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
