i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
