Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's official drugs can't kill me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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