I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
