Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize