I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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