called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize