Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So here I am, sexting at work.
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