Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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