It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Threesome in a minivan. New low
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
