You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
