It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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