I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
