She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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