what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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