Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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