is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize