Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
