i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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