Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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