My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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