I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize