u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just found puke in my bra..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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