this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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