I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
