Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
