So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
