WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize