Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
