i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
