i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
