I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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