kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
