Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
