honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
