They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
