What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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