If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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