Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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