My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
