I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
